I just want to love.

I'm so sad that Carter died. I didn't know him well, but any loss of life is disastrous. He always said hi and/or lite my ciggarette when passing by. There were fun memories i could count on one hand where he would chat with me on Dada's patio when i worked there. it was good and that was it. There's nothing i wished i would have said or any regret for not saying more. I just wish i wasn't so stupid and star struck when he would float around. He was after all just human. I think this has proven that to me.
death. ugh death is something i can handle, on it's own- but not with all the complications this story has. It's like a made for tv movie, something out of a book. It's just to much to really want to believe.
senseless i tell you.
what do we do.?
the overall mood and thoughts during the past few:
I just want to love. all i was consumed with that day was how much i love Eric, and how sunless and broken i would be if anything ever happened to him. How much I love all my family and friends around me. I really really need you people in my life.
i live off your smiles, energy and touch.

I'm thankful for all that are in my life and have been in my life. life has this insane bitter sweet action going on... and i'm just trying to stay on the sweet side.
love,
Camille